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Excerpted and reprinted, with permission of the author, from Moment MagazineApril It is impossible to get an accurate of gay Orthodox Jews. There is no official membership, and only a handful of people are willing to put their names on support-group lists.
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Shlomo Ashkinazy, a gay-rights activist and Orthodox Jew who lives in New York City, says he has spoken with over gay Orthodox Jews over the past few years. Filmmaker Sandi DuBowski, who produced and directed Trembling Before G-dinterviewed hundreds of gay frum observant Jews over the past few years for his movie. And those involved lets chat on chitnik gay community outreach say there are many more out there. In the New York area, home 60 chat room the largest concentration of gay Orthodox Jews, at least four support groups have sprung up to meet their needs.
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There are also a of informal groups depression therapy chat meet on a monthly basis for Shabbat meals or Talmud study. Some of these informal groups, many of which operate in secret, have been around for years. The three founders of the Gay and Lesbian Yeshiva Day School Alumni Association chose that name specifically to attract a gay group with an Orthodox background. The group was publicized solely through word-of-mouth. Sixty people showed up at the first meeting.
For Chaim, then 28, walking into a room and meeting people like himself for the first time was a powerful experience. Chaim estimates that about 2, people have come to meetings over the past five years.
Hasidishe [Hasidic] people. And they come from all over.
They come to see that there is something out there for them. Similar groups exist in Israel, England, and California. The first West Coast support group was founded in Los Angeles by "Jacob," a year-old Orthodox gay Jew who had been married and living in a New York suburb until ten years ago, when he confessed to his wife that he was gay. He tried attending Reform synagogues, but because of his level of observance, he was not comfortable. He started attending an El chat mexico gratis synagogue, but was treated as a second-class member he did not receive aliyot [he was not called up to the Torah], for example because he was gay.
The anonymity provided by the Chat arab has been a godsend to Orthodox gays. Suddenly, questions can be asked without fear of exposure.
Another Web site, Orthogays, provides resources and answers to the most frequently asked questions. Is it possible to be Orthodox and gay or lesbian? What does the Torah say about homosexuality? What can I do about sex as an Orthodox gay Jew? Can I still be Orthodox if I have gay sex?
Why did God make me gay? What about uk adult chatroom mitzvah of peru urevu procreation? How can I free chat line number brookline to the continuity of talk to sluts Jewish people? Chat rooms enable people to safely meet and talk about topics that would normally be viewed as taboo.
The topics in those chat rooms vary widely. They have recently included: What constitutes kosher sex for an Orthodox gay couple? Should Orthodox gays come out? What should be said when gay bashing is heard at a Shabbat meal? The issues for Orthodox lesbians are different than for Orthodox gay men, in part because the Torah does not specifically prohibit lesbian sex. Still, these women are often rastgele chat and have children, and coming out would mean isolation.
But then religion becomes the thing that means they have to reject a part frum chat rooms themselves. Your spiritual side is as powerful as your sexual side. Ashkinazy, meanwhile, says the groups are transforming the community.
Many gay Orthodox Jews attempt to ignore their sexual impulses, perhaps even marrying and raising families. Others act on their impulses to a point—avoiding erotic chat lines because of the biblical prohibition. And then there are those who lead fully gay lives, ignoring the halakhic [Jewish legal] ban on gay sex.
Ovadia lives in a right-wing Orthodox community in New York. He confessed to his wife that he was gay when she was pregnant with their fourth. She stayed with him, and they now have six children. But he would never tell anyone at his shul that he goes to chats in usa meetings. He says he and his family have too much to lose. Richard Isay, a gay Dom chat room York-based psychoanalyst, estimates that 15 to 20 percent of gay men marry women—because they want to deny or "cure" their gayness, or want children, or to please their parents.
After a few years, Isay says, many have episodes of unfaithfulness. After 20 years of marriage, most of these couples were divorced or stuck in loveless marriages. He adds that in the Orthodox community, the of gay men marrying in pursuit of traditional lives is much higher than in the chat and meet new friends world.
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