Talk someone out of something
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Many of you will know someone who has suddenly fallen head over heels in love with someone. What do you say to them? How can you help? And how do you express your concern or surprise at their change of appearance or lifestyle and free online im chat utter devotion to someone or something that, to you, seems really crazy? We have spent decades talking to current and former members of all kinds of cults, from religious-based groups like the Branch Davidians to political groups on the far right and far left and even psychotherapy cults like the Center For Feeling Therapy.
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The first thing to realise is that people in cults are not crazy but are the same intelligent, creative and interesting individuals they were before. As with falling in love they are just crazy chats men the group, its amazing leader and its great potential to change the world and them with it. So the ideals of the group are probably quite attractive superficially — ending war and poverty, say, or promoting the healthy development of brain and body.
Your friend or loved one has probably fallen hook line and sinker for the positive message of the group and their whole identity is now focused on this message. The key thing to remember is that criticising the group, however strange or damaging it seems to you, is the same as criticising your friend or family member themselves.
Talk someone out of something
They love the group really deeply — phone sex chat valdaliga all intents and purposes, they are the group. Think back to when you fell in love for the first time and got those disapproving looks or critical comments from your parents or friends.
Remember how angry that made you feel? And how determined you were to love the person all the more. The most important piece of advice is to not criticise, condemn or judge, even if you have serious concerns.
Instead, focus on why this person identifies with the group so much, and what they believe they are getting from it. This means you have to keep talking. Keep the dialogue chat de honduras and help your loved one measure the group against their own hopes and standards. In time, the scales will start to fall from their eyes, and you can be ready for that moment. In truth, damaging cults are often run by charlatans. They offer world peace and the promised land while actually sucking people in, taking over their minds and unduly influencing them to give up their time, money, families and careers free no registration chat room any tangible.
Nirvana is always just around the corner, and cults coerce their members to work ever harder to get to the impossible. Often members are made to feel unworthy and are humiliated.
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They can never measure up to the ideals and perfection of the leader, and bit by bit their hopes for what the group offers start to crumble. When what seems like the most loving group of individuals with the best ideas snapchat dirty chat turns out to be a really big mistake, it is very hard and sometimes humiliating for cult members to admit to the outside world that they were wrong.
This is where you come in again: be tamil sex talk online as the unconditionally loving and caring friend or family member that you really are.
Where the cult judges and condemns its members, you will be there as the person who says:. Sure, it is a crazy destructive group, but I understand why you got involved. We all fall for con artists and swindlers once in a while — you still have a lot to offer and I can help you move on with sex chat sites reykjavik life. After the cult, the world can seem a bleak and less exciting place.
But, with the help of family and friends, the former member can build a new and more authentic life and purpose. Lessons from the pandemic: Working with families in poverty in Kirklees — Huddersfield, Kirklees. Folk psychology, normative cognition, free instant sex chat the wide distribution of norms — ReadingReading.
Edition: Available editions United Kingdom. Linda and Rod Dubrow-Marshall on cults and belief. Psychology Religious cults.